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The tale of my beginning and eventual rise to power in the near future.

surreal

Eric: tank,godlike

Location: Arizona

Joined: Jan 04 2009

Everything I say is true.

"The rumors of my death have been greatly exaggerated" - NOT MARK TWAIN

Prologue

The dawn echoed, it was far away.

*read in russian*

I was molecularity formed in a cottage on the hillshire. I still remember the biosynthesis like it was yesterday: Intoxicating perilous madness. My origins were snappled with numerous bear encounters and spelling bees with more bite than bark. The rule that it was a matter of eat or be eaten was justly established. I built the cabin out of logs.

Chapter I

In a flash of reverberation, there existed everything

--even nothing.

I flew through the clouds as I clashed with SHIVA GOD OF DEATH™ athrown my slutty steed. Just as I was about to land the final blow (get it) I was countered with a thundering bolt to the appendix and became hospitalized for the next five years of my life. It wouldn't have been that bad if not for the fact that I was in tremendous agony all the while. The nurses would eat delicious sandwiches in front of me to mock me and ridicule me. Luckily my father stole a recliner sofa from the maternity ward (true story) and things were good for quite some time. The perfect mix is two double doses of morphine and 1 hour of animal planet, preferably something violent yet philosophical in the correct lighting.

Chapter II

PERHAPS...

My return to wizard school was a welcome sight. I had been given a powerful collapsible cane that when swung separated and caused internal bleeding in the victim. At the same time I established a club of film and became vice president of the club of computers. My stomach area still has a hole all the way through to this day. It was shortly after these events (1 dotted year note) that I became transfixed with a startling realization. I wanted a fucking guitar . . . and felt the need to grow long hair. Yes, the lightning bolt that went through me not only caused third degree burns, but spurred a spark of evolution, to my final form you witness today.

Chapter X

THE LEGEND LIVES ON

I'm the antichrist.

Submitted on Thu, 07/02/2009 - 01:27

ok

SalemJake

Bewitched

Location: Popular Land

Joined: Oct 13 2008

Submitted on Thu, 07/02/2009 - 01:36

dongs

Jacob31593

Location: Tampa, FL

Joined: Jan 04 2009

you skipped the part where i saved you from the 21 and a half headed viper

Submitted on Thu, 07/02/2009 - 02:34

shlongs

CpxAzn

Lurker

Location: Atlanta, Georgia

Joined: Sep 21 2007

come again?

Submitted on Thu, 07/02/2009 - 05:23

jizzum

Jacob31593

Location: Tampa, FL

Joined: Jan 04 2009

i'de love to i really would but i am spent for the night, im going to get halfway through eating a sandwich and then im going to bed

Submitted on Thu, 07/02/2009 - 05:44

Re:

plainlazy

Delightfully British Scalie

Location: Brookhaven Hospital

Joined: Dec 17 2008

I love this guy.

Submitted on Mon, 07/13/2009 - 06:46

1 on 1 faggot

Mash

kalon as hell

Joined: Jan 16 2009

1 on 1 faggot

Submitted on Mon, 07/13/2009 - 10:06

Re: The tale of my beginning and eventual rise to

SalemJeanette

Save Your Tears.

Location: Popular Land.

Joined: Jul 03 2009

----------

23:33 Vic9mm said: its ture ida benn gone she took out like 3 kids before had what was that fat ass asian kid gonna do

Little J.

Submitted on Mon, 07/13/2009 - 12:25

Re: 1 on 1 faggot

surreal

Eric: tank,godlike

Location: Arizona

Joined: Jan 04 2009

Mash said

1 on 1 faggot

Too late, I already played my donald trump card. You're fucking fired.

Submitted on Mon, 07/13/2009 - 15:03

Re: 1 on 1 faggot

Jacob31593

Location: Tampa, FL

Joined: Jan 04 2009

surreal said

Mash said

1 on 1 faggot

Too late, I already played my donald trump card. You're fucking fired.

i use Mashter Reborn so that the lulz may continue

Submitted on Mon, 07/13/2009 - 15:17

Re: 1 on 1 faggot

surreal

Eric: tank,godlike

Location: Arizona

Joined: Jan 04 2009

ahhhhh shit

Submitted on Mon, 07/13/2009 - 15:29

Re: The tale of my beginning and eventual rise to power in

SalemJeanette

Save Your Tears.

Location: Popular Land.

Joined: Jul 03 2009

surreal said

Everything I say is true.

"The rumors of my death have been greatly exaggerated" - NOT MARK TWAIN

Prologue

The dawn echoed, it was far away.

*read in russian*

I was molecularity formed in a cottage on the hillshire. I still remember the biosynthesis like it was yesterday: Intoxicating perilous madness. My origins were snappled with numerous bear encounters and spelling bees with more bite than bark. The rule that it was a matter of eat or be eaten was justly established. I built the cabin out of logs.

Chapter I

In a flash of reverberation, there existed everything

--even nothing.

I flew through the clouds as I clashed with SHIVA GOD OF DEATH™ athrown my slutty steed. Just as I was about to land the final blow (get it) I was countered with a thundering bolt to the appendix and became hospitalized for the next five years of my life. It wouldn't have been that bad if not for the fact that I was in tremendous agony all the while. The nurses would eat delicious sandwiches in front of me to mock me and ridicule me. Luckily my father stole a recliner sofa from the maternity ward (true story) and things were good for quite some time. The perfect mix is two double doses of morphine and 1 hour of animal planet, preferably something violent yet philosophical in the correct lighting.

Chapter II

PERHAPS...

My return to wizard school was a welcome sight. I had been given a powerful collapsible cane that when swung separated and caused internal bleeding in the victim. At the same time I established a club of film and became vice president of the club of computers. My stomach area still has a hole all the way through to this day. It was shortly after these events (1 dotted year note) that I became transfixed with a startling realization. I wanted a fucking guitar . . . and felt the need to grow long hair. Yes, the lightning bolt that went through me not only caused third degree burns, but spurred a spark of evolution, to my final form you witness today.

Chapter X

THE LEGEND LIVES ON

I'm the antichrist.

----------

23:33 Vic9mm said: its ture ida benn gone she took out like 3 kids before had what was that fat ass asian kid gonna do

Little J.

Submitted on Wed, 07/22/2009 - 13:56