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Funny Poems that you have enjoyed

nozzie

The talkbox guy.

Location: Utah

Joined: Apr 06 2007

Just post some funny poems (doesnt matter type) that have made you laugh or crack a smile.
Ill start with this

‘Twas the Third Of July and all through the nation
The colonials were not having three day vacations
“Intolerable!” said Hancock, as loud as he pleased
“I don’t want to work when it’s ninety degrees!”

Jefferson nodded, designing a fan.
“It’s beautiful out, let’s make with a plan.
Why can’t we just go out and sit by the lake,
And drink some of that beer that our buddy Sam makes?”

“I agree!” said Ben Franklin, “Plus I have a date!
I don’t want to come in cause my math says that great
are the chances that tonight I’ll make lightning again!”
“Good thing I’ve arrived!” said George Washington.

“Come Bartlett, come Braxton, come Carrol, come Chase!
Come sign this Declaration or I’ll kick in your face!
For we’ve salt water tea and a whole lot of mince pie
(which will fall out of fashion as the years go by)

and we’ll head down to Williamsburg, you’ll love it like me!
It looks like the future, amazing, you’ll see!
We’ll take Whipple’s carriage and pick up Tom Paine
We’ll pump up the Mozart and recite Sturm und Drang!”

“That’s ever so modern!” said young Miss Betsy Ross.
“Can I come along? I won’t be a bit cross.”
“Why of course, Little Betsy,” said Franklin with glee,
“Tell you what, you come ride in the back seat with me.”

And so our Founding Fathers went on their vacation,
And they left an excuse that created a nation.
And they started a trend we now hail with this shirt,
Of saying “Hey, Boss, tomorrow I won’t be into work”.

Re: Funny Poems that you have enjoyed

MetalMario702

The Mario of Metal

Location: Rhode Island

Joined: Oct 27 2007

If water was vodka and i was a duck
id swim to the bottom and never come up
but waters not vodka and inm not a duck
so hand over the vodka and shut the f*ck up
=)

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Those too weak to follow their own dreams always find a way to discourage others...
Those who think that they know everything annoy those of us that do
[img:23q2yhj0]http://offbeat-zero.net/pulse/sig/thfrbiddn1.png[/img:23q2yhj0]

Re: Funny Poems that you have enjoyed

nozzie

The talkbox guy.

Location: Utah

Joined: Apr 06 2007

Roses are #FF00000. Violets are #0000FF. All my base. Are belong to you.

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Voila! In view humble vaudevillian veteran, cast vicariously as both victim and villain by the vicissitudes of fate. This visage, no mere veneer of vanity, is a vestige of the “vox populi” now vacant, vanished. However, this valorous visitation of a bygon

Re: Funny Poems that you have enjoyed

BluePhoenix

give me a dollar

Location: Earth, Universe A

Joined: Jan 21 2008

A 224 word Pallindrome by Demetri Martin

"Dammit I'm mad.
Evil is a deed as I live.
God, am I reviled? I rise, my bed on a sun, I melt.
To be not one man emanating is sad. I piss.
Alas, it is so late. Who stops to help?
Man, it is hot. I'm in it. I tell.
I am not a devil. I level "Mad Dog".
Ah, say burning is, as a deified gulp,
In my halo of a mired rum tin.
I erase many men. Oh, to be man, a sin.
Is evil in a clam? In a trap?
No. It is open. On it I was stuck.
Rats peed on hope. Elsewhere dips a web.
Be still if I fill its ebb.
Ew, a spider… eh?
We sleep. Oh no!
Deep, stark cuts saw it in one position.
Part animal, can I live? Sin is a name.
Both, one… my names are in it.
Murder? I'm a fool.
A hymn I plug, deified as a sign in ruby ash,
A Goddam level I lived at.
On mail let it in. I'm it.
Oh, sit in ample hot spots. Oh wet!
A loss it is alas (sip). I'd assign it a name.
Name not one bottle minus an ode by me:
"Sir, I deliver. I'm a dog"
Evil is a deed as I live.
Dammit I'm mad."